Fasting

I've decided to spend the weekend fasting. Mostly as a way to clear my body of toxins, but I still view it as a spiritual action. Something about fasting has always been spiritual to me.

Now don't start thinking this little squirrel is on a water only diet. That wouldn't be a healthy choice for me at this time due to my infection and such. So I'm on what is commonly known as a modified fast. Basically I'm allowed fresh fruits and veggies, juices and one small meal of brown rice in the evening. When I was younger, I would do fasts of water and juice only. Of course, that was back in the days before my car wreck and antibiotics.

I started this fast because I realized I've been on antibiotics for nearly a year now. At times the long use causes me to feel ill as long exposure can kill out good bacteria in your body and lower your immune system. So, while on this fast, I am drinking a probiotic lemon ginger tea each morning. My goal is to jump start my body for some extra healing.

Like I said earlier this is also a spiritual action, so this means I'm doing daily prayer and meditation. I'm reading some spiritual articles and keeping myself focused on my path. There is something about fasting that makes me feel strange to not pay extra attention to my spiritual side during the task. Maybe because I view it as a form of self discipline that is in line with spirituality.

 I'm hoping to keep this practice active in my life more often. After the weekend, I will wait a few weeks and repeat this fasting. I think it will very beneficial for me in so many ways.

A Little Too Normal

Life has become unusually normal for me. In fact, some might even say too normal. Nothing of true interest has been occurring and I'm always busy with regular life things. Most exciting things was getting to perform my first wedding as a Wiccan clergy, but even that doesn't seem all that strange anymore. Its like I've hit a spot where things are okay and all is well. Only I seem to almost find it a bit disturbing.

Maybe this little squirrel is just used to things that drive her nuts. lol.

Morning Walk

Lately if I have been up early enough in the mornings, I've been going on walks around the neighborhood. This, of course, started from Chi running off. I take food out with me to leave for the squirrels in the area in hopes that Chi will find it. Since she went missing, I had not seen her even with all the walks I have made. It caused me to be discouraged for a while and I wasn't making my walks as much. 

However, today I was up bright and early. I was worried that Chi might not be finding food without me leaving it out so as soon as there was some light in the sky out I went. I came across a squirrel that I see every day. I call him Chet as that is the best name I could come up with the second time I meet him. He really seems to like the food I leave out and watches me intently. After seeing him try to blend into the tree he was staring at me from, I noticed movement to the side of me. I turned to see a smaller squirrel running around in a tree. It sure looked a lot like Chi, but I couldn't be 100% sure. The morning light was getting brighter, however, it was not enough to see the colors in the little squirrel's fur. I tried to follow her, but she was just to quick for me to keep up. Her movements were very Chi like and were different from the fox squirrels I keep identifying around the neighborhood. So, I'm praying it was my Chi as that would mean she has been finding food and keeping warm. Either way, I left out some extra food at the base of the tree where I spotted her first. 

Who would have ever thought, I'd miss a squirrel so much? 

Chi Went Missing

Yesterday evening, I took Chi outside. I've done this many times, but mostly just out on the porch. This time I thought I'd walk her to the back of the building and then back inside. I just wanted to get her used to the outdoors. Well, I didn't but her in a harness or use a leash. That was my big mistake. Jason came outside and while she was running back and forth on us she jumped down on the ground. She suddenly became frightened and ran off. We followed her to a tree that she climbed at the end our of road. We tried for hours to get her down, but before long it became dark. There was nothing we could do until morning.

I woke up around 6:30am and went looking for her. I found her in an oak tree. She saw me but refused to come down. I tried offering her pecans, which are her favorite treat, but she still won't come down to me. Around 7:00am she moved around in the tree a bit, and I lost sight of her again. I waited until about 8:00am before going back home.

I couldn't stand the idea of her being out there and was back searching for her within the hour. I looked for an hour but didn't see a trace of her. I walked up and down the area near the oak tree. Nothing. Saw lots of adult red squirrels, but no Chi.

I'm glad she made it through the night, but I'm so worried about her. I know I planned to release her back into the outdoors at some point, but not like this. She has no shelter for the Winter. I'm scared for her. It doesn't help that I became attached to her and now miss her. She was like the baby I never had. She was my little girl and I worry I will never see her again. I fear at this point we will not be able to catch her and bring her home.

I pray to the Goddess every second that she will care for my Chi and allow her to be a happy squirrel. I pray that one day I will see her again all grown up and healthy if I do not find her to bring her home. I love her so much and will keep her in my heart forever.

Holiday Madness

I am so thankful the holiday season is over. Yule and Christmas caused more stress this year than normal. At least that is how it seemed. I've decided that next year everyone is getting homemade gifts and if they don't like that idea, then oh well. Too many people I know view it as a "look how much people sent on me" or "look how much I spent on you". Its all about the price tag and self worth....and the newest latest hot items on the market. What happened to the true meaning of this holiday season? And I'm not talking about the baby Jesus bit. I'm talking about enjoying your family, sharing hot cocoa (or in my case sugar cookie tea*), celebrating in love, spending time with friends and giving gifts because you want to...not because you feel you have to give them. That is how I want to celebrate the Yule season next year.

*Sugar cookie tea is my pick of hot cocoa only because I am allergic to cocoa. It bites. 

Things I've Learned About Squirrels

So having a bouncing baby squirrel around has made me realize that I did NOT know that much about my totem before. I've learned lots of new things about squirrels that I would not have been able to any other way. Here are some of them:

• Baby squirrels will suck their fingers while they sleep.
• Squirrels do not open their eyes until five weeks old. (Chi opened hers on Nov 18th.)
• Pecans are a great treat for a squirrel.
• Squirrels will grunt when unhappy about something...like being picked up to go back in their cage.
• When scared a young squirrel will jump on to the closest familiar thing...or person.
• Squirrels are ticklish and they don't like it. lol
• A squirrel is more curious than any book gives them credit for.
• When threatened a squirrel will either run away or attack the other animal forcefully before running off.
• Even a sofa is suitable for storing acorns for the Winter. lol
• Squirrels have a very stubborn and willful personality.
• You can teach a squirrel to beg for treats.

As I learn more about squirrels, I'll add more facts to my blog. As for now, that is it. Thanks for reading!

Not So In Tune

So this squirrelly pagan has decided she isn't as in tune with Nature as she used to be. When I was younger, I could look at the sun and from its height be able to figure out when nightfall would hit. As a kid, I could sense if it was cold or not by just looking out the window. I was also able to move quietly through the woods without disturbing anything. Today, well I can do none of these things. lol

It seems that the older we get, the more out of tune with our world we become. The stress of life makes us go a little nuts and we forget to keep our connection to the natural order of things. We get so caught up staring at bills that we forget to do our part in the big picture because we focus on little things.

I miss the concept of village living. The idea that you live basically so to stay in tune with the natural cycles and community is a major value. I'm not talking about community as in the local town fair, but where people actually help each other. A wise woman I know was talking about how it really did take a village to raise a child, but that tv is doing that now.



It is a sad world we live in. Children are raised by tv and public schooling. Adults forget their connection to each other and the Earth. At this rate mankind is doomed....and if I don't change some of my habits I'll be no different than any other adult who is blind to the beauty of the world.

Now onto a better topic! The baby Chi!

Chi still hasn't been able to be taken by a Wild Rehab center or person, so she has been helping me play on my computer....or at least messing up my desk drawer. So cute! :)

Meet Little Chi - The Baby Pagan Squirrel

On November 14th, I discovered the most precious bundle of joy laying on the ground. I feared her dead, but upon trying to pick her up I quickly learned she was a strong little squirrel full of life. She had fallen about 30ft out of a tree along with a sibling who was found dead. I took her home and did some research on caring for a baby squirrel properly. I tried to contact a wildlife rehabilitator but was unsuccesful at finding one that could take her at the current time. They did instruct me on how to care for her until they could.

As for now the adorable fuzzy, lives in my living room in a small cage. She loves when I bring out her bottle and enjoys climbing up everyone she can. She is a lively critter and as officially been named Chi after an anime character. She also got to go to the Texas Renassiance Festival with me. I sneaked her into the faire in a purse. Hehehehe...

I only wish I could keep the little girl. She is so sweet and has really taught me a lot about my squirrel animal totem. She is the one critter that I will always remember, so until the wildlife rehab can take her I will cherish each moment with her. She will always be my baby pagan squirrel.

Raising the Awareness (A Very Serious Post)

Where I live the idea of Wiccan Awareness is simply a dream. I've personally dealt with discrimination over the years due to my religious beliefs, but I've always stayed the course and stood up for what I've believed in. I've seen others hide their religion out of fear and while I understand this, I don't see myself ever hiding in the "broom closest". I just can't do it. If someone doesn't take a stand, then no one will and nothing will change.

Yesterday, I took that stand. I talked to a professor at our local university who works in the Social Work section as I had heard she was looking for a Wiccan speaker to talk to her class. I volunteered for the position and got to present a speech to her class on what Wicca really is. Afterwards, I did a questions and answers session which was very interesting. I really enjoyed the interaction. I couldn't have been happier with the results, but I did record the entire class period so that I could work on my speech and how I answer questions in the future. The better I learn to communicate the better I can help out in Wicca Awareness.

In all honesty, I'm very proud of myself for doing this. I finally feel like I've started taking the steps needed to be the Wiccan leader and clergy that I want to be. I also for once feel like Wicca Awareness in my town is possible even though we are deep in the Bible belt. Sure, I know I will still deal with discrimination but at least now I know I'm working on creating change.

Newspaper Article Idea

So I'm thinking of submitting a topic idea to the newspaper for a Halloween article. Yeah, I'm thinking of telling them to do an interview with a real witch and volunteering for the part. Why? Most likely because I'm tired of this little town not thinking much of us Wiccans. We are everywhere, but they don't know it. Heck, most of the other Wiccans don't know it either. It would just be nice to see Wiccans portrayed for who they really are instead of evil devil worshipers. The thing is someone has to be the first in our town to say, "Hey, I'm a Wiccan and I'm just like you! I'm not evil and definitely not a devil worshiper."

Standardized Witch Test

While there is no such thing as a real standardized witch test, I really think we need one. I say this because of all the solitaries running around in circles trying to see where they stand in the world of knowledge on witchcraft. I'm one of them, or I was....

I started out a solitary not out of choice, but the lack of covens in my town. It drove me nuts trying to find a teacher. I never found one. I spend years trying to figure out if I had learned everything I needed to learn to be considered a first degree witch, but while I thought I had there was still a little voice in my head telling me I had failed. I pushed back the voice for years....probably a good explanation to my insanity. Anyway, I finally decided I was at the Wiccan first degree level and began my studies to the second degree. This was very tricky without a coven too. I got online and looked at covens who had posted outlines to their second degree study requirements and tried my best to complete them my own way. Yet, I never really felt I made it to the second degree level. All my friends who were Wiccan or Pagan had said I had, but it was never enough. I didn't believe it until two nights ago....

I took what felt like the biggest standardized test ever and all on Wicca and Witchcraft. By the end I swore my head was going to pop off. It didn't, thank Goddess. The test had come from a book. In fact, the whole book is the test! It is called "What's Your Wicca IQ?" by Laura Wildman. It covers many sections like the history of Wicca, tools of the craft, performing ritual, and etc. At the back of the book it has a score ranting for the whole book and by chapter. It lets you know if you are the equivalent of a dedicant, first degree, second degree, or third degree. I figured this book was the best way to prove to myself if I really had done well in my self studies. I took the test and by the scoring ratings I'm an official second degree! *Does a happy dance*

While this test might not be great for covens, as it doesn't have much on coven practice, it is great for solitaries who are trying to assess their knowledge on Wicca and Witchcraft. I highly recommend taking the test. Some sections seemed a little useless, like do I really need to know the history of the Golden Dawn to practice Wicca? No. But the overall book was fantastic. I wish I had taken the test long ago, but at least for now I know though what I need to work on in my studies to become a third degree as I will be the first in my coven to get to that degree. But that is what happens when you gather a bunch of solitaries to form a coven...someone always has to be the first.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

While I wish I could be talking about food....or anything else, but sadly I'm not. I am talking about the heat wave outside. It has become too hot for me to even sit outside lately. The dressing over my iv picc line actually starts to melt if I stay out too long! Seems like it is time for some witchy interference. Where is that rain spell of mine?!?! That should cool things off for a bit!

Pendulum

Well, my new pendulum came in the snail mail today. I get my new ones from ebay. Why? Because I'm cheap. Have you ever met a rich squirrel? Anyway, I can get a pendulum on ebay for under $3 that would have cost me at least $10. I see no reason to pay lots of cash for ritual or divination items. Sure the expensive stuff can look better on some things, but that doesn't mean it will work better. My experience is if you like it, it will work. I've held that belief since I was a child.

Anyway, I purchased this one because it reminded me of the ocean. I'm big on the ocean and water magick, so I figured it was perfect for me. I've been studying sea witchery as of late by reading Sea Magic by Sandra Kynes. An online Wiccan school that I participate on has a Sea Witchery class using the book. I enrolled in the class and I love it. I'm not looking forward to the assignment over ten different sea gods or goddesses though. lol. But at one point you have to make a altar dedicated to the sea, and I couldn't imagine this pendulum not being on it. So yeah, that is how I ended up with this ebay purchase....which led to another and another and.....which lead to this post. Funny how my mind works.

Don't know much about pendulums? Check out this site. They have a great instruction sheet and some wonderful charts to use with your pendulum. I always use this site to teach my students.

Fairies are to blame!

I've decided to make a small rant about fairies, whom are slowly stealing my sanity. How? Read the post and find out.

Fairies, while many say are fantasy, are real. I've seen one. I was 16 years old when I saw it. A shimmering purple ball of light floating about ten feet in the air heading into the woods behind my neighbor's house. My mouth dropped as I stood in shock. After a second, I found myself trying to follow it. It flew over some heavy brush in the woods, and I lost sight of it. Since then I saw one in my old apartment fly under my kitchen sink cabinet. I thought I'd lost my marbles at that one since I literally saw a white light fly a few inches above my floor and disappear into the cabinet. I'm not sure how it opened the cabinet door or how it did all that in a mere second or two, but I sure remember what I saw. Unfortunately for me, these sightings had to happen without a witness. Therefore, there are few who believe me. My mother thinks I'm crazy.... especially when I tell her they follow me from home to home. Or maybe I just keep moving to places with fairies? What are the odds of that one? Either way, these little devils have only one thing in mind if you ask me. To make you loose your mind and all sanity. Just ask my friend Kayla. Fairies stole her silverware at one point. My friend Shannon finds all her missing items in her closet. And for me they keep stealing my jewelry and hiding it. They also love to turn the closet light on and off randomly. I used to wonder how my clothes keep coming off the hanger, but I know the fairies did it. The fairies always did it!

Crazy little things with wings.....I wonder what they taste like in teriyaki sauce?

Book of Squirrelly Wisdom

While most witches have a Book of Shadows (BOS), I've decided that mine is more like a BOSW....Book of Squirrelly Wisdom! I say this because my book is so randomly done that it is so confusing that it is like watching a squirrel chase its own tail around and around the base of a tree....you know, where you can't figure out if it is really one or two squirrels and if it will win. And if it wins, how? It would be stuck around the tree biting onto its own tail until it let go. Or if it was really two squirrels, then the one who's tail got bitten into would only get more mad at the other and the chase would continue....

My point is that my Book of Shadows is a mess and no one other than me can make sense of it. lol Think my goal this week, while I'm healing up from my surgery, will to create a 3-ring binder version of my BOS so that it isnt so crazy and unorganized.

Homemade Cleaning Products

Okay as we all know as Pagans, one of the best things we can do is be kind to Mother Earth and her furry critters. Well, while I'm lying around in a hospital my mother was reading the newspaper and found something very Earth friendly. She, of course, shared the article with her little Pagan Squirrel. I then decided to share it with my readers.

Wood Cleaner

• 2 Tbsp. olive oil
• 2 Tbsp. white vinegar
• 1/4 cup lemon juice

Mix ingredients. Using a soft cloth, rub into the wood, in the direction of the grain.

Furniture Polish

• 1 lemon
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1 tsp water

This polish should be made fresh each time you use it. Extract the juice from the lemon. Mix with oil and water. Apply a thin coat on your wood surface and let sit for 5 minutes. Use a soft cloth to buff to deep shine.

Laminate Floor Cleaner (for engineered wood and no-wax floors)

• 1/2 cup white vinegar
• 1 gallon warm water

Mix ingredients. Avoid over wetting the floor by using a spray bottle to apply the mixture to the floor. Mop as usual (microfiber mops work best.)

Garbage Disposal Cleaner

• 1 cup ice
• Lemon or orange rind

To eliminate garbage disposal odors and clean and sharpen blades, grind ice and rinds until pulverized.

Refrigerator Cleaner

• 2 Tbsp. baking soda
• 1 quart warm water

Dissolve baking soda in water. Use to wipe all surfaces inside and out. For stubborn sports, rub with baking soda paste. Be sure to rinse with a clean, wet cloth.

No-Streak Glass Cleaner

• 1/4 cup white vinegar
• 1 Tbsp. cornstarch
• 1 quart warm water

Mix the ingredients and apply with a clean sponge or pour into a spray bottle and spray on. For lint free results, wipe dry with crumpled newspaper, buff to a shine.

From an article in the Tyler newspaper by Patrice Dunagin, Smith County FCS Agent.

Into the Unknown

Tomorrow I go yet again into the unknown. Surgery. Okay, okay, so it isn't all that unknown to me. In fact this squirrel has been cut open more times than the number of years she has been alive. So that would be over 24 times. Ouch. Suddenly I'm glad they can knock me out before all that. Can you image what it must have been like in the old days of medicine? I think I'd rather have been shot and put out of my misery back in those days. Its making my tail twitch just thinking about it!

And while I am going through yet another surgery, I can't help but feel calm. I'm not sure why or how. Maybe I've finally gotten over my fears of hospitals and surgeries? Or maybe I've finally just accepted that I can't change what the Universe places on my life path?

Life and Death

There are lots of nutty things in this world, but nothing more confusing then life and death. While, I believe in things like reincarnation and that I shall be well taken care of in the afterlife....it still scares me. It scares most people. I accept it as a fact of life and as a new beginning, but I can't imagine what will cause my death and exactly what happens when I've passed. The unknown is a very frightening thing for many people after all.

So why am I wondering about life and death? It might be due to my upcoming surgery on June 29th even though it is a minor surgery and I should be just fine. Or it might be due to relearning the basics of Wicca so that I can better help my students with their studies, and this is causing me to think more about the basic subjects than from when I first learned them. I'm not really sure which it is. Not really sure it matters either. Maybe it's both?

Either way, it makes my mind start heading in many directions, much like a squirrel looking at a garden full of bird-feeders and not knowing which to raid first. This is one of the days I really wish the Divine would just tell us what lies beyond. Maybe with a picture pop-up book? That would be nice. Of course then where would living in faith be if the Divine gave us a pop-up book of all the answers?

Getting Ready for Litha

It seems I've let my life get a little too busy as of late. It is not that I want to busy...trust me if this squirrel could just spend her days reading on the porch sofa, she would! However, my health has gotten the best of me. I guess that is what car accidents do to poor squirrels like me even if its been over 3 years. Anyways, the doctors are handling the situation. So now I'm trying to get ready for the upcoming Sabbat: Litha.

I run a small local Wicca coven. We've only been doing any serious work since last year. Before that we were just some laid back friends who got together from time to time. Therefore we have a lot to do. We've been working on the book of shadows, group bonding, deciding on a coven symbol/logo, coming up with Sabbat craft projects, re-writing the degree requirements, and all that other not so fun stuff. It is all worth it in the end too. Since last year, we have come a long way.

I'm very proud of each member in my coven. Most of them have learned to trust each other and how to work with each other now. However, it does seem we all function on Pagan Standard Time. lol Many of the members are excited about Litha. It's nothing big. Just a small BBQ potluck with a few activities. I've printed out some summer themed mandalas for meditational coloring....yes, you can color and meditate at the same time! lol We also have plans to go swimming after the ritual. Sounds like the perfect summer day to me. I just hope everyone else enjoys it too!

The Squirrel Who Can Catch A Fish

Photo from Zorger.com

The idea of squirrels fishing is a very cute idea. Not realistic, but very cute. However, this little pagan squirrel can fish! Okay, so most of what I caught yesterday wasn't big enough to keep, but I did catch seven fish! Of my coven only one other caught a fish. So it easy to see who is the winner at this sport. lol

In Texas the first Saturday of June is known as Free Fishing Day. This means that no fishing license is required of adults. I am yet to get my fishing license because I've yet to go fishing at the lake. I've never really tried to fish anywhere other than private ponds, and I also have no idea what I'm doing! We choose to go to see if it was worth getting our fishing licenses and to connect back to nature. And anyone who could fish back in the day and get enough for dinner, I have much respect for now!

Fishing is defiantly a good way to realize how life was for those of the old days. I can't image having to always find or hunt my own food. Out of five people I was the only one who caught anything large enough to eat and I only caught two that were like that. I wonder how long we would have been out there if we were really having to catch our dinner? I think I'd rather go collect nuts for dinner instead!

This experience was a great eye opener for me. It has made me to appreciate what I have and how easy it is for me to go to a store and just buy fish or whatever else I want for dinner. It has given me a stronger sense of thankfulness. I'm glad I went on this fishing trip as I won't ever forget it or the lessons it has taught me.